Do I truly Believe?

First weekend in December, every year I go on a silent retreat up in Sierra Madre with the Passionists. This is the 5th year (I think) I have gone on this retreat. My hubby always says he doesn't know how I can go anywhere and be silent since I talk so much all of the time. Friday night of the retreat the God moments started. This is the first in a series of Blogs that I wrote up while I was there and I will be posting over the next few days. 

So I was sitting at Mass at a silent retreat, not expecting to hear any huge, Earth shattering words. It was only Friday night after all, we were just starting. We had a presentation about how to really hear God we need to be silent. Father Mike started out by saying we needed to leave everything we brought with us at the foot of the cross. Then the readings, which were cool, I guess, but for me, the God moment started when he started the Homily. He starts talking about do we really believe. I mean really trust in Jesus, that he can do it? I really had a moment of clarity, I trust he is there, I know he can do it and will do all he needs to do for the bettering of me and my faith, to bring me always closer to him. I know I believe, but do I trust? Can I give up control, lay it at his feet, and not try to take it back? My thought was, if this is how it starts, how much more is God going to stretch me during this weekend.  Then later, in the room I started to write, and this is the prayer my heart poured out through my hand. 

The Retreat House

Do I Believe?

God you know my every fiber,

My sold is yours to guide.

I know you Lord, I know you will always catch we when I fall. 

You will never fail. 

You are always there for me. 

Help me to see, help me to quiet my heart and soul.

Letting God is ever so hard,

Guide and carry me.

Take my hand and show me the way. 

God you are ever so awesome, 

Even when your message is not one I want to hear.

You carry me through and guide me on your path. 

God, in all I do, help me to hear you. 

You are present day and night, week through week. 

Help me to always see you there. 

The Fountain

God in all I do, help me to hear you. 

Your song surrounds me. 

The winds breath and the bird song. 

Help me to always here you there. 

Clouds

God help me to always feel you. 

Your arms are always around me. 

The hug of a child, the kiss of my spouse.

 Help me to always feel you there.

God help me to always smell your sent.

You have created this glories perfume around me. 

The flowers in full bloom, the sent of the fresh cut grass. 

Help me to always smell the beauty of nature. 

God help me to always taste you. 

A random tree

You created it all, fruits and food of all kinds. 

The tastes, sweet, salty, sour and tart. 

Help me to taste the goodness you have made.

13th Station, Mary holding
Jesus

God help me to know you in all I do, 

Feel you with all my senses.

All is for you, by you, with you and in you. 

Help me to always surround myself with you, and you within me.