Puberty Stinks, both figuratively and literally!
You know when my son was first diagnosed, I had all these people who would try to give me advice. They told me "at least you'll never have to worry about the hormones of puberty" or "at least sex and girlfriends won't be an issue". I love how people who don't have kids on the spectrum think our kids run. My son does have aspergers, but he is also a teen age boy. He has body hygiene issues related to both being a male and being on the spectrum. He has BO...it's part of life. He has stomach issues that cause him to sometimes have accidents, it's apparently very common in the spectrum. He likes a girls now, so I am hoping that will make him care a little more about how he smells and looks. I look back at those comments about puberty and sexual drive and all you can do is chuckle. He is definitely a male and he LIKES girls alright.
The hardest part is knowing which is normal typical behavior and which is spectrum related. Apparently normal teen boys are still pretty obnoxious, rude, mouthy know-it-alls...so are the bumps we are having NT issues or AS issues? How do I address them?
I can give everyone in the world advice on how I have learned we should react. Ideas on social stories and behavior charts, and redirection and positive reinforcement....but when it comes to my own kid, I somehow forget all those things I have learned.
I want so much for him to have a "normal" life, for things to be easier for him. I want to have a great relationship with him. I think because I want so much for him, I maybe expecting too much from him,,,but really I don't think expecting him to understand that he may not get the rules but that they still need to be followed is too much. I expect him to understand there are repercussions for those moments when you yell and scream at your parents.
It hurts to have him on this spectrum, yet I can't imagine him any other way. I know that we will get through this path but the light is still so dim. I have to trust in God to guide, trust he will show Lucas what he needs to be. I just want one week where everything is easy for him and for all of us. I want Logan not to learn these mal-adaptive behaviors, and understand why the rules (in her eyes) are one way for her brother and another for her. Not that I don't expect them both to follow a set of rules, but there is no way to avoid the fact that my parenting tools and styles are different as they are such different people.
I wish I could tell you it gets easier (and parents if it does, or you have a tool you use,,,please tell me!) but I do know that we will get through it, between the support of our families (even those that are not blood) and the support of others walking this same path as us, we will get through it!
The hardest part is knowing which is normal typical behavior and which is spectrum related. Apparently normal teen boys are still pretty obnoxious, rude, mouthy know-it-alls...so are the bumps we are having NT issues or AS issues? How do I address them?
I can give everyone in the world advice on how I have learned we should react. Ideas on social stories and behavior charts, and redirection and positive reinforcement....but when it comes to my own kid, I somehow forget all those things I have learned.
I want so much for him to have a "normal" life, for things to be easier for him. I want to have a great relationship with him. I think because I want so much for him, I maybe expecting too much from him,,,but really I don't think expecting him to understand that he may not get the rules but that they still need to be followed is too much. I expect him to understand there are repercussions for those moments when you yell and scream at your parents.
It hurts to have him on this spectrum, yet I can't imagine him any other way. I know that we will get through this path but the light is still so dim. I have to trust in God to guide, trust he will show Lucas what he needs to be. I just want one week where everything is easy for him and for all of us. I want Logan not to learn these mal-adaptive behaviors, and understand why the rules (in her eyes) are one way for her brother and another for her. Not that I don't expect them both to follow a set of rules, but there is no way to avoid the fact that my parenting tools and styles are different as they are such different people.
I wish I could tell you it gets easier (and parents if it does, or you have a tool you use,,,please tell me!) but I do know that we will get through it, between the support of our families (even those that are not blood) and the support of others walking this same path as us, we will get through it!
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